she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
