There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Even my vagina gasped.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
