Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
