That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
