I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize