I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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