jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
