Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
