even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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