I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
