I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
