So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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