Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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