I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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