All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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