just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
