So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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