Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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