Me too!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
