Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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