Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
