No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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