Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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