i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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