just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
