C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
