it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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