i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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