Your dad touched me again.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
