party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
