Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
