Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
