just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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