HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
