if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
