I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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