You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
