shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
