I need help removing her.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
