ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
