HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
