Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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