so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
