I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
