I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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