sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
