I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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