I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize