nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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