How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Still dying that you shit outside
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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