just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
