You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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