mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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