It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
