so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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