I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
