I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize