I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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