I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
NoShamevember. You game?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
