Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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